Getting started on our journey to recovery took longer than we expected. First, we had to say good-bye to our old life. Once we realized the ugly truth about our business and our personal finances, we had to form a plan. We were so overwhelmed! There was a lot of grieving to get through first; and a lot of anger.
We were first and foremost angry with ourselves. We should have closed the business 9 months earlier, we should have done x when we did y and so on. We eventually realized that all this gnashing of teeth and tears wouldn’t get us anywhere. We had to just get on with it.
In brief, this meant that we had to get a lawyer so we could formally close the business and file for Chapter 7 bankruptcy protection. There was a lot of paperwork, meetings, and filings that had to occur. It was one of the worst experiences of our lives, but we tried hard to remember that we were losing things. We still had each other, our health, our family and our friends.
The thing most people don’t talk about in times like these is the energy it takes to keep your head up and avoid falling into the deep pit of depression. We would plow ahead pretty well then one of us would run out of steam and go tumbling into the pit. The good thing was that the other one would reach in and help pull the exhausted one out and help them to get back into the daylight again. Fortunately, both of us were so concerned about adversely affecting the other one that it served to help us recover and keep the other one from falling into the pit, too.
During the first several months we were able to reach an agreement with our mortgage company to sign over the house (it’s the house shown in the above picture) rather than have a foreclosure on our credit history. We had previously sold my car to our son and his wife to get out from under the note. Fortunately my husband’s truck was paid off. We sold most everything of value just to get by until we could get jobs.
Speaking of jobs, after applying for several jobs and making 3 trips to Nashville, we realized that trying to get jobs there while living on a very limited income in Memphis was unrealistic. So we focused on getting through the bankruptcy proceedings and preparing for the move.
The truth is that those 5 months were the hardest we had experienced in our 38 years of marriage. It’s a good thing that we have such an extraordinary relationship, we grew closer, not further apart. Besides each other’s support we have wonderful family and friends. Our son and his wife invited us to come and live with them in their brand new home in middle TN until we could get back on our feet. This included our 3 Labrador retrievers and a cat! Now that’s love!
Our friends were amazing! One kept stopping by to check on us, bring pizza, wine and give us moral support. Another one paid for part of our moving expenses, and another bought our TV and gave us more than it was worth. All of our friends gave us tons of love and support. We never felt alone.
With that kind of love surrounding us, we realized that although it was rough and meant the loss of our house and other material things, we were actually very rich indeed!
the yippie hippie grandma 